All of Us Logo

Alone Again…unnaturally. By Eva


Hi! I’m Eva, a 25 year old foundation year student who loves coffee, seeing my friends in between lectures and I personally find yoga my way to de- stress from the difficulties of being an estranged student. Being an older student due to health reasons preventing me studying has been a struggle, but I’m finally starting to settle in to my new life away from an impossible situation and reclaiming my identity as a ‘new’ Eva. My key message to anyone struggling is to hold on – your acquired strength and resilience is your superpower and I wish you every success with your studies!


I know. I know how vacant your uni halls feel. How broken you feel, your focus torn between the content of lectures and the overwhelming grief that leaves you feeling very much… alone.

From as early as Freshers’ week, families helping their newly independent children ‘unpack’ their belongings in the accommodation they helped them choose online. We never had that loving farewell. We did it all… alone.

Often pitied as we attend classes bereft, with anticipation of our flung together roommates asking the standard questions- “so, what does you Mum do?!” “Was it hard saying goodbye last week?!” “Bet you can’t wait to be at home with your family for the December break!”

We don’t have that. Alone, we arrived at those gates BUT it won’t be like that forever, I assure you. Choosing this path? Choosing to struggle through filling out long UCAS applications, filling student finance forms independently and explaining to the University of our acquired ‘circumstances’?

I don’t think anyone chooses the Circumstance we’re faced with. I needed that help, that gentle push from those that raised me to make things smooth, but I valued my emotional health more than that so support with university applications was a sacrifice I made for the sake of my health.

Just the mere reality of being an Estranged or Care experienced student, with no family to help us achieve our dreams is a loss. Grieving, studying, flung into the pitch-black social environments with a headtorch, hoping to be accepted for who WE are, rather than what we came from.

Anyone relate? If you do, please know that you AREN’T ALONE, despite having to conjure extra strength to get onto your course than most. It’s okay reader, you didn’t choose this and most importantly, you (we) are not on our own.

I’m a Foundation year student, embarking (yes, alone Patricia… problem?) on a four-year Undergraduate course in Psychology and Sociology. No family to call when finances are running low, no incoming phone calls asking how independence is going now that that I am HOME in my uni halls of residence.

No name in the looming ‘next of kin’ box for me anymore. Just a vacant box.

I’m estranged see, as I know many in the All of Us community are in some way, whether that’s through finally escaping an irreconcilable environment, or through experience of the care system.

I’m five months into my course and I’ve dealt with the initial homelessness prior to starting in October after I finally put myself first and left an impossible situation. Christmas time was especially hard when everyone asked where I’m originally from and who will be picking me up when term ends/who will be hugging me when the train rolls in at station x and I have to
say the dreaded…


“I’m not in contact with my family…”
*Cue the tumbleweeds that naturally cascade in amongst the silence as people stand- dumbstruck.


People may say “But they brought you into this world” that I should “go back and sort things out” But if it hurts more to go back to what you came from than to embark on your future by yourself, then trust me, doing this without caregivers by your side is the best option for YOU, whether that is physically, emotionally or both, YOUR wellbeing is the most important person to consider in your own story.

Please, keep going.


YOU possess an inner strength and determination to achieve that not many in this world could even ascertain and although you’re studying with no exterior place to call home other than your term-time address, you have a chance to find a new family, a family that YOU choose.

University, student life, the gateway to your promising future, it’s all here. The best part? We got ourselves here, alone… but very much TOGETHER. In this community, we get it. Wishing you all the best in your studies!

By a student who understands.

Get Involved & Get Supported

Want to write your own blog? Submit a pitch here at https://bit.ly/AoUBlogPitch.

There are several advocacy and support lines out there for care experienced and estranged students.