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What Do You Do About Trauma? By Asmitta

Hi again! It’s Asmitta. I’m grateful to be making my second (and graceful!) appearance here with another blog! You can read my previous blog about coping with people’s comments on estrangement and the loneliness here. I’m now going into my third year of Biomedical Sciences. I’m still into community and conversations with other people. I am also trying to enjoy the sunshine whilst it lasts!

“Trauma”. It’s a buzzword that has gained lots of traction during recent years, particularly over social media. Funnily enough, and yet sadly, a traumatic past is nothing out of the blue for students who are care experienced and/or estranged. Whilst increased awareness is definitely a huge step towards people accessing appropriate help, the wounds from such a difficult past can still leave scars that influence the present…

My traumatic past, which includes my estrangement, has immensely shaped my university experience. Whilst my present-day circumstances do not even compare to what I have once experienced, the remnants of my past can still puppeteer elements of my life today, as if it were a dark cloud constantly looming over me.  Resultantly, the lens through which I had approached life and the wider world had been hugely tainted. My trauma manifests in minor ways, such as through some sleep disturbances. It has also caused other psychological, emotional and physical health difficulties. I find myself troubled in ways such that my wellbeing may require more compassion and grace than that of many of my peers at university, which they may often also take for granted.

Then there’s all the “what if’s?” that I find myself pondering upon: I sometimes think about what life as a student would be like if I had had more safety and stability as a child. What would I have made of university if I had been able to dream of greater possibilities for myself from a younger age? What would it be like to exist in certain situations without the worry of significant health challenges? And what if I was not so exhausted from it all combined?  My challenges, sometimes having been a little different to those of my peers, have occasionally been met with awkwardness or discomfort. I am grateful to have people and staff who understand me and/ or are sympathetic. But, ultimately, there are elements of university life where I just cannot relate to my fellow peers due to my traumatic past.

The process of coping with and recovering from trauma has been slow and challenging for me. One solution does not suit every individual. The process of accessing appropriate help can also be taxing. Whilst I am not a medical professional, I have shared a few pointers that have grounded me along the way and that you may also find useful:  

Ultimately, you are the expert on you. Remember to listen to your body, take time for yourself, and never hesitate to ask for help. You matter, and getting the help you need is crucial for your wellbeing. Life can be gruelling at times, and care experienced and estranged students are certainly no stranger to this matter!  I send out lots of love to anyone who is still suffering. You are not alone, and you are not defined by your past.

For more information specifically about childhood trauma, here are some helpful resources that I’ve used that can help get you started:  

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There are several advocacy and support lines out there for care experienced and estranged students.

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