All of Us Logo

Belonging Without a Blueprint. By Rachael

I’m Rachael, a 25-year-old Irish student studying my master’s in Policing with Criminal Investigation in Liverpool, my second “home”. I have an unhealthy obsession with coffee and an addiction to going to gigs. I’m figuring out my own blueprint for finding community, belonging and where I fit in it all — one coffee, gig and questionable life decision at a time, I believe. I am on Instagram @rachaelnaomihenry and Linkedin

When I first went to university, I thought I would eventually just happen to find my people. I assumed that making friends, getting involved and feeling like I belonged would happen naturally. But as a care-experienced and estranged student, I quickly realised that I was starting from a different place than many of the people around me.


There were things other students seemed to have without thinking about them: someone to call when university felt overwhelming, a family home to return to, or people who already knew how university worked. I often felt like I was figuring things out as I went along, without a blueprint.


For me, belonging didn’t come from one big moment. It came from lots of smaller opportunities and the people I met through them.


One of the biggest things that helped was getting involved. I became a course representative and later got involved with my university’s Criminology and Sociology Society as an undergraduate. I also took on different roles through university, including student ambassador work and helping at events. One experience that stands out was taking part in a university go-abroad trip to Nepal. Travelling with other students, experiencing somewhere completely different and sharing something so memorable helped me build connections in a way I hadn’t expected. These experiences gave me reasons to talk to people and spaces where I could feel useful and connected, rather than expecting friendships to magically appear.


My experience as a care-experienced young person also made me want to advocate for other students who might be navigating university without the same support networks. I became involved in work around care leavers and estranged students, speaking to students about their experiences and helping to highlight some of the barriers they face as part of my internship at LJMU. Being able to turn something that had sometimes made me feel different into something I could use to support other people gave me a completely different sense of purpose.


I’ve also learned that community doesn’t always look like a huge friendship group. Sometimes it is one person who understands. Sometimes it is a society meeting, an event where you recognise a few faces, or a conversation with someone who has experienced something similar. Sometimes it is simply finding a space where you don’t have to explain every part of yourself.


Moving away from home for university has made this even more obvious to me. Starting again in a new city can be exciting, but it can also make the absence of a familiar support network feel much bigger. I’ve had moments where I have felt incredibly alone, even while surrounded by thousands of other students. What has helped is reminding myself that belonging is something I can continue to build, rather than something I should have already figured out.

I don’t think care-experienced and estranged students should have to become experts at navigating university alone. We deserve support that recognises that our starting points can be different. But I’ve also realised that there isn’t one correct way to find your community.


My own blueprint has been made up as I go: saying yes to opportunities, getting involved, creating spaces for other people, meeting people through shared interests and finding communities where my experiences are understood. If you’re a care-experienced or estranged student and you haven’t found your people yet, that doesn’t mean you don’t belong. Your community might not look how you imagined it would, and it might take longer than you expected.


You don’t need to arrive at university with a blueprint.
Sometimes, you get to draw your own.

—

Get Involved & Get Supported

Want to write your own blog? Submit a pitch here at https://bit.ly/AoUBlogPitch. Successful blogs are paid at £25.

Advice from the author

There are several advocacy and support lines out there for care experienced and estranged students.

Wider Support